Life Is a Journey and Making the Most of It

I start to draft the outline of this article. My reaction was smiling and a silence together with realizing. And I did get a jilt of happy feeling from looking at the things around me. I sense in me that although with breakdowns of crying silently while praying and the counteracting moments of seeing my family and pets help me have that stable balance and trying to elongate these good moments as much as possible.

Indeed, it is a dopamine good feeling scenario.

Lately, I reasoned to myself if triggers exist, then I will rebound from it as much as I can. Trying to maneuver this still needs a lot of practice and patience. I know and do not expect this to be perfect. Because it can never be.

What happened in my life is a reason I live and learn. Thankfully reliance on someone I love, to give me the only hope of surviving is always knowing that He will never abandon me.

These days decisions by way of help through prayer on what I can avoid that triggers me comes with sitting, studying, and reflecting of the ways I was helped by the Creator all through out these years of troublesome sleepless nights.

I live my life just being me at home and attend to home tasks. Sometimes it seems like I get chased and thrown lemons directed at me even the remembrance of bad treatment in the past. Pick these lemons slice them up and make lemonade! Hey, it is a waste that these just have to be run over.

Life Isn't Perfect, But It's a Gift I Gladly Receive

True, before I had an excruciating depressive episode of my life. That includes mental breakdown, as far as being not able to take good care of myself. Mentally, emotionally and physically. Basically, if I am not being dramatic, I just want to be a vegetable. I stay locked up in my room. I do not associate with my family. Giving my mom the silent treatment. And what was worse is I do not ever recall I prayed at those angry moments of outbursts to calm down, but I want to cause havoc in my environment.

Now some days are a mess, other days feel magical-but every morning I wake up is a gift in itself that I am alive, realizing this, even the hard moments are stitched into this journey for a reason. I definitely know why.

When I started a goal to heal and progress, the gladly given gift of life reminds me to unwrap each moment with care. Including care for my family.

I'm Learning to Build a Life Around Growth, Not Perfection

I don't have to hurry there yet. It is not a competition. I just want to keep getting better, even if it's slow.

But progress-ing. (Emphasis as it is written. A continuous action word).

Progress for me is less about grand wins and more about small mindful shifts. Given that we are only capable of doing things one at a time physically so we can also do things one thing at a time whether it is emotionally or mentally.

I've found peace in knowing that showing up for myself daily is already a victory. Not nurturing before an under stimulated brain with nothing but garbage gossip that led me to think that is the only life amongst friends.

A strong woman only has few friends in her circle; she is fine with.

Assessing my choice of friendship not to repeat same things in which I can say, "I failed", and learn from it.

A thought I learned a strong woman only has few friends in her circle; she is fine with. She doesn't thrive on validation because she is not insecure. There is no room for her time to be wasted in what is worthless. If you see this woman, keep her as friend.

There is more that can be seen in between the lines of these thoughts. But even if we add godly strong woman. It certainly will still work. Given the circumstances on the scene these days.

Sharing My Journey Reminds Me I'm Still Here, Still Becoming

Talking on my blog, writing the outline, or even just opening up-it connects me to the truth that I live for myself to be better.

My experiences, even the quiet ones, are valid enough for me to keep going. I know this has to be my story and I will make most of this journey.

When someone says, "I feel that too," it's a soft reminder that I matter.

Unexpected Blessings Deserves Gratitude

Sometimes joy sneaks up on me-a kind word, a soft breeze, a small win.

An example is some of blessings that are unexpected. At the same time, it is meant to be. Like being a Kitten mom. My mother helping me with our other family pet Honnie. Even feeding baby Kai sometimes when I have work to do. Playing with him after my mom feeds him and as always. The time to meditate on a thought from the scriptures.

I'm learning to pause and thank my Creator for the surprises I didn't ask for but deeply needed with gratitude. He always gives me the support, love, and care for my benefit.

I want to get better at counting these blessings and thanking the rightful being whom this is accounted to.

Peace Comes in Pacing Myself

I'm allowing myself to slow down-not everything needs to be rushed. In that stillness, I can savor the little delights: morning light, laughter, quiet company, moments with family. That inner peace I'm nurturing. I want it to overflow to my family and the people I care about and love.